ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
True college students do jello shots in the library
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