I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
