i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
