I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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