There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm too high and old for this...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
