you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
