I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
