Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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