Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
