I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
