apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
