I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
