Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
