I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Text me some of your sweat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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