That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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