I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
