WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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