I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
