I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
