That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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