I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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