Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
