Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am available for nakedness
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
