I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
