I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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