After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
