He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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