I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
