I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
