There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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