hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
