So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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