Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
