I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
