So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
