Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
