Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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