It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
