I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
