I must be too annoying 4 u.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
