Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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