We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
