He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
