My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
