Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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