She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
