My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
