In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
