Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
