I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
