Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
