i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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