So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
BRING THE BAGELS
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
